Charming Houston Heights Home For Sale…No, No, Not Charming!

Filed in Heights News & Events by on October 17, 2010

What Real Estate Terms Really Mean

I recently had a client who wanted me to use the word “charming” in marketing her Houston Heights house.
Now, charming seems like a nice word, and evokes fond memories of the past…but not in real estate! Charming is a cover up for old those problems of an aging house. Realtors know what it really means.

charming house

“Charming” What it Really Means

Here are a few more terms; partially tongue-in-cheek, partially true.

Charming -this is Grandma’s old house…and it may smell like Grandma’s old house. It could be nice again, but not easily
Original condition – unless you are the rare person hunting for that untouched house (i.e. a Houston Heights original home) leave it alone…you will be stepping back in time. See “charming” above
Sunny corner lot – Sunny from the reflected light of all the passing cars on this busy corner
Easy freeway access – you can hear those cars night and day
Great location – but not much else is good
Easy care yard – Not even enough room for the dog to poop
Ready for your touches – Ready for a major expenditure
Live in now, build later – that’s right, spend tons of money now to make it livable, and just dream about your future home
Desirable neighborhood – you are going to pay extra to be snobbish
Close to school – the little monsters are going to stomp your flowerbeds every day
Friendly neighbors – they watch every move you make
Secluded yard – overgrown – bring a machete
Must see the inside – A derelict house that been painted on the inside
Owner finance – No bank would loan on it
Handyman special – Good luck getting a loan on it – see owner finance above
Unique house – this could go either way: wonderful unique or creepy unique. Either way, it is not for normal people. Maybe a relocating Californian
Urban living – watch the homeless urinating in the streets
Cozy – small, cramped, great for those without furniture
Motivated seller – let’s dump this place and get out of here
Only one owner – probably about to die in it, and never updated
Single car garage – good luck opening your car door once you squeeze in
Sunroom – a room that will blast you out in Houston summer and you’ll pray for sun in the winter to heat it

What about the lack of descriptive words? If there aren’t any puff terms, then even the Realtor couldn’t think of anything good to say about it. Don’t even bother, unless you are looking for a project

And last – lack of photos? If there are few photos – it’s ugly, it’s packed full of junk, or a witch lives there

Looking at old homes is fun. Every one is different (I almost wrote “unique”). It’s more entertaining to compare the Realtor’s descriptive terms to the actual house. Have fun with it yourself…Rich

First time buyers should pay attention. Especially when buying a Houston Heights home or others in older neighborhoods.

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